By Willow (willowashmaple.sbs)
Jan. 2, 2026
(Originally from my Bluesky)
My contrarian take of the day:
Let's make him an actual Emperor of America. We'll all be better off that way.
Give him a fancy military uniform with medals that weigh 50 lbs, give him a fancy military rank such as "The Grand Generalissimo of the Republic" (a "seven-star general").
Give him all the pomps and pageantry like all kings and emperors deserve.
Designate Mar-a-Lago the official Grand National Imperial Palace of America, complete with an hourly changing-of-the-guard ceremony for the tourists to see.
Give him a magnificent parade like Kim Jong Un's.
Heck, even give him an exaggerated title and style, like "His Supreme Sovereignty, by God's Grace, the God Emperor of America and all Her realms and overseas territories, King of the United States of America and Grand Duke of Florida, Defender of Christian Faith, &c."
The more lavish the better.
And Congress should create a new position for him, "The National Father of the United States of America." After all, he is the epitome of what the United States has been all along. There's something in him that a lot of Americans find relatable. Why not?
BUT, here's the thing about an actual monarch:
His role is to embody the national unity, and thus is apolitical. A monarch "reigns" but never "rules." To maintain the mystique of the Crown, he is largely hidden from public view and is not even allowed to have a private opinion.
Look at King Charles III or Emperor Naruhito, and at their royal families, you know they are basically prisoners in their opulent palaces. They're national mascots. They cannot even veto a bill from their parliament, nor can they pick a prime minister of their liking. No freedom, no privacy.
Maybe America can have an emperor too, and he might be happily entertained in the opulence, pomps, and pageantry he always craved. But in a constitutional monarchy, he would be nothing more than a mascot and a symbol, without any political power or influence.
Let's see how long he'll last.
In the meantime, we could also reform the political structure to a more European model of a parliamentary system, with proportional representation, ranked-choice voting, and a true multiparty legislature. And yes, a short and defined campaign period and a strict limit on campaign financing.
This way, we solve the chronic political dysfunction and get a lot of meaningful things done. The emperor gets to step out to the balcony every day at noon to wave at tourists who have come to watch the changing of the guard ceremony at the Grand National Palace, another Florida tourist trap.
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